Husband : Oh, hi honey. Welcome home. How was you day? [ Well . . . ] That's good.
Wife : It was terrible. The company is going to lay off about 50 people, and I might be one of them.
Husband : Oh, that's nice.
Wife : That's nice? You're not even listening.
Husband : What?
Wife : So, what did I tell you?
Husband : Um, you said that the company . . . something about 60 employees , um . . . and you might be one of them . . . or something like that.
Wife : No, that's not what I said. [ Oh? ] The problem is you never listen. Never! So look. I bought you this book. Here. Read it.
Husband : What? Now what? Big Egos, Little Ears: Getting Your Husband Out of the Clouds . What's this? What? And you paid $35 dollars for it?
Wife : No. YOU did. I used YOUR credit card.
Husband : Oh, whatever. Um, so, what great secrets does the book contain that I don't know already?
Wife : Okay. First of all . . . .
Husband : Okay. I know, I know. I know what you're going to say.
Wife : No, you DON'T know. The first thing is not to interrupt and think you know what I'm going to say. Hold your tongue for once and give me a chance to share my feelings before you come up with some witty response.
Husband : Okay. I got it . . . I think.
Wife : I hope. Number two. Show me that you're listening. Stop checking Facebook while I'm talking to you, turn off the TV, look me in the eyes. Anything to show me that you're paying attention.
Husband : Right. Uh, so what's for dinner?
Wife : Tsk . . . see!
Husband : [ Laughing ] I'm sorry. I'm just joking.
Wife : It's not funny. It's not funny!! So QUIT LAUGHING!! And don't tell me what to do to fix my problems either. Most of the time, I don't need solutions. I just need you to listen to my feelings.
Husband : Okay. I guess I haven't listened enough, [ No. You don't listen very much. ] and I haven't shown much empathy [ No. ] And, well, how about if I read a couple of chapters and then we talk about it? Is that okay?
Wife : Yeah. That would be nice. Thank you.